Buzz off, helicopter moms. I got this.

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Yesterday we took the kids to the park. It was a cloudy, breezy, warm day, and the park was full of kids and parents.

#SmallQaeda at 2 is both needy and adventurous, but when he gets on a big playground, he usually heads off alone and challenges himself with new obstacles. Yesterday he decided to climb a ladder more than twice his height.

He had tried to climb a ladder on our small swingset at home just a week or two prior, but he fell only halfway up. I was thrilled to see him ascend the entire ladder unassisted. But when he got to the top of the ladder, he hesitated. It was more difficult to pull himself onto the platform at the apex than to climb the rungs to get there. But I knew he could do it.

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The X-Men bring the Apocalypse, and no one cares

DO NOT READ THIS unless you have seen the film.

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Overall I absolutely loved X-Men: Apocalypse. It was far more complex, entertaining, and well-connected than the trailers or reviews suggest.

As a 25-year fan of the comics and cartoons, Apocalypse was a villain I wanted to see on the big screen for a long, long time. His portrayal by new Star Wars hero, Oscar Isaac, was nuanced and effective. Instead of a mechanical, emotionless archetype, En Sabah Nur had a history, a motivation, and used the power of seduction and manipulation more than any of his millennia-old mutant abilities.

While others have complained about his seemingly arbitrary use of his powers, I think it made him more convincing, not less. He largely relied on others to do the heavy lifting, as any megalomaniacal would-be tyrant would. He primarily used his own power to convince others to use theirs to serve him, preying on the fear, loss, and ego of certain mutants to turn them into his drones. The Age of Apocalypse is almost as frightening as the Age of Trump.

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My main problem with the film was the consequence of Apocalypse’s destruction, not his character. In a year when other comic franchises are apologizing for collateral destruction they’ve caused, the X-Men finally bring some of their own and leave the same questions in their wake.

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Beyond the Terrible Twos?

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It wasn’t long ago I dubbed my son #SmallQaeda, after #Bae called him a tiny terrorist. Even before turning the Terrible Two he already earned the title.

His favorite word was “MINE!”, followed closely by “No.” He developed a high-pitched shriek to express his displeasure with circumstances. He cried often, over nothing, and occasionally threw himself on the floor to really sell the drama. He hit everyone and everything, just for fun. He wouldn’t stay put anywhere, in a seat, in a grocery cart, in a carseat, even his bed.

And while he still does all these things, I’ve noticed their frequency has significantly diminished.

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What Awards Day is like when you get no awards

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Today was Awards Day at #Angel’s school. It was split up into three age ranges so everyone wouldn’t have to be there all day. Her grade was first, so we had to get there early.

I asked her if she knew if she was getting any awards, but she didn’t know. I emailed her teacher to find out, but she’s on maternity leave. So we better show up just in case.

My mom was going too, to see if she got an award, and my nephew’s grade would be later in the morning after hers, so she wanted to see both. With no one home to watch #SmallQaeda, he had to tag along.

I made sure to bring his bag of snacks, drink, and tablet with some downloaded movies. The small school’s gym has roll-out bleachers with very little leg room, so we were all squeezed in there pretty tight. Naturally he didn’t sit still for a moment. Up, down, watch a show, not the right show, not interested in the show, talking about other kids’ toys nearby, up, down, sit, stand, up, down.

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I should talk to management about my hours

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Parenthood is a 24/7/365 job, obviously. It turns out so is stay-at-home parenting.

My wife and I wake up at 6:30 every weekday to get #Angel ready for school. #Bae leaves for work when I leave for school, with #SmallQaeda in tow. The rest of the day is spent doing things you expect stay-at-home parents to do – laundry, dishes, cleaning, errands, bills, ABCs, etc. But I don’t get to clock out at the end of the day.

You might think that when #Bae gets home, she could take over the parenthood duties. I considered that for a brief moment when our arrangement first began. A very brief moment.

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Shopping, with Children

Shopping with my kids is always a roll of the dice.

 

Yesterday I only needed a couple things at Target, but #SmallQaeda fell asleep in the car just a few minutes before we arrived. Usually if it’s nap time I take advantage of the situation and just park and let him sleep while I catch up on Instafacetwitchatblr, but this time we were meeting #Bae for lunch in just a few minutes right next door.

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On names

So WTF is an “AuthoriDad” anyway?

I knew I needed something with “dad” in the title. That’s my title, so I had to include it. I thought about a variation on “Dadblog”, but there are already tons of those. I considered something with “Dadbod” in it, but that would suggest the focus would be my slightly molded but still lumpy physique.

Then as I was thinking through things that rhymed with or sounded like “dad”, I stumbled upon “libertad”, the Spanish word for freedom. As a libertarian, this would be perfect! “LiberDad”. But it was taken, both on WordPress and Twitter. Dammit.

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