Ticketmaster settlement voucher program continues their long tradition of mocking customers

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As you probably saw over the last week, Ticketmaster gave you a bunch of free concert tickets! How awesome of them! Totally makes up for their decades-long anal rape of American music fans!

Not so fast. The details, eligibility, and fine print for those free vouchers were released today, and as usual, Ticketmaster has made a mockery of customer service.

Ticketmaster was sued a few years back over their insane “convenience” fees charged on top of concert tickets. Plaintiffs alleged these fees weren’t being used to recoup any costs and were instead just profit-based price padding. As is usually the case with class action lawsuits, Ticketmaster settled for a price (mostly to lawyers) instead of admitting their heinous crimes against humanity.

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Parenthood is just yelling the same things for years. I was not warned.

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Theoretically, the purpose of parenthood is to guide children into becoming functioning adults. You teach them skills and values so that they can go out into the world some day and hopefully continue making it a better place as you also tried to do.

In practice, the act of parenthood is little more than barking the same few commands and corrections at the tiny terrorists for years until they either get it or emancipate themselves.

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After Orlando, I went to donate blood. You’ll probably guess what happened next.

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As most of you know, I’m bisexual. The massacre in Orlando this weekend obviously hit me hard. Not being able to do anything to help has hit me much, much harder.

Seeing the long lines to donate blood in Florida yesterday, I was inspired. I made plans to do the same here in Louisiana. I haven’t been able to donate blood for almost 20 years, so this was going to be a momentous occasion for me.

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Sleep, Interrupted

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#SmallQaeda definitely earned his epithet last night.

He’s a great sleeper, but he goes through phases. Right now he’s in a struggle-bus phase. About every other day for the last week or two he’s woken up between 2 and 2:30 am crying. Usually I give him a few minutes to try to fall back asleep on his own, but it doesn’t always work.

Sometimes he’s still lying down half asleep when I eventually go in their room to settle him back down. Sometimes he’s sitting up crying. We haven’t yet figured out why he does it; maybe gas, maybe hunger, maybe nightmares, maybe he just wakes up and gets scared.

Half the time I can just rub his back and sing him back to sleep, but sometimes he won’t settle down, so a warm bottle usually does the trick. (Yes, we still give our 2-year old a bottle. He’s an insanely picky eater. Would you prefer he starve?)

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#WCW – Bae

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My wife, y’all. I mean, damn.

Technically it’s cheating to use your significant other for #WCW, but 14 years together and she’s still my main crush.

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She’s my partner through everything, good and bad. We share everything, from the head to the heart to the bed. She excites me, challenges me, puts up with my bullshit, and when necessary¬†doesn’t put up with my bullshit.

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